Well who knew? Actually, I did. Here I am, Top Dogoid, sitting aloft this pedestal and just look who’s beneath me. Hmmmph. I knew this was coming. Never thought I’d be a Dashundoid though. Then again, I never thought I’d get the dog thing so soon. Thought a couple more rounds of invertebrates or insect life-cycles at least. The mosquito thing was offensive, didn’t enjoy that one. Thank fuuuuck it was quick. Being a human before was tough, what a shit show! All of that intelligence and they fuck up the planet so bad that it’s uninhabitable, and now they’re doing the same with the Moon and Mars already showing signs of frailty. Idiots. Absolute fools. Anyway, second place is looking pretty pleased with herself. Rightly so, very pretty. She’s a BiiiiG bitch. Afghan Houndoid if I’m not mistaken. High maintenance written all over her humanoid. They look alike. As for third place – that is one ugly motherfucker, and looks completely terrified. Does NOT want to be here. Pushy humanoid. In fairness as pups, Pugoids are soooo cute, but what the actual fuck… when they get past the puppyoid stage, boom. Uggggg-leeeee! Check out his humanoid, oooh yeah. Sweet! I could cuddle on her lap for a life time. Right where’s my humanoid? Ah-ha, look at him checking out Pugoid’s owner, NICE! He’s read my mind. Evolution has it’s moments. Hey dude, I need a hand with this space suit, it’s a bit snug. Need to visit a lamppost before I burst!
TEDDY-OID
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